Temps only

As I mentioned before, I am not using my CPFM. I was unable to use it for a few days because the batteries died, and that threw off the info from the previous months. Im still temping though.

When I looked at my temp this AM, it was apparent I had ovulated. My temp shot up to 97.5. Im not 100% sure whether I ovulated yesterday or the day before, but 2 days ago I was having a little cramping on my right side. It happened during BD with DF. It felt sorta like I pulled a muscle by my ovaries, but it wasn't a constant pain. It happened twice. It could be nothing, but with my temp going up .1 yesterday and then shooting up today, im leaning towards O.

If so, then we have our bases covered. We BD on Sunday, Monday and Wednesday. We weren't trying per say, but it kinda happened that way. Im still not getting my hopes up though. Im gonna take it one day at a time.

Im not gonna go crazy with HPT's like I usually do. Im gonna hold out. My LP is 12 days with AF coming on the 13th day. If AF doesn't come, i'll test on 14dpo. I can't take the stress. Im usually the resident POAS pusher on IDOB, but i've even been taking a break from that.

Im so happy for all the ladies who are getting their BFP's. I know they all want this just as badly as I do, and that's why it doesn't upset me to see them posting about it. Am I jealous? Sure, I think we all get that way from time to time, but that's not the reason I am not posting. I get frantic after O, and though all the support is AWESOME, I tend to get my hopes up. Everyone is so kind. They all want me to get a BFP as much I want them to get one.

Well, that's about it. I'll be waiting it out for sure this time. I have a lot to keep me busy in the meantime. My daughter has cheerleading, ballet, tap and jazz, and my son has basketball. 3 days a week we're running around, so that will help take my mind off of it.

Here's why...

It's been 9 days since i've posted. Let me explain why. I was all set to start cycle number 8 of TTC. Everything was going well until CD10. I woke up, POAS and turned on my monitor so I could insert it. Well, the batteries died and I didn't have backups. So now a test stick was wasted and a cycle day was not recorded.

After 3 days of trying to get new batteries, I finally was able to turn my monitor back on. It still said CD10 and was asking me to test. It was 6pm so I wasn't gonna test. I figured I would do it in the morning.

Now it's morning and I POAS and again turn on my monitor. This time, it wasn't asking me to POAS. It assumed I was low fertility. Now 2 test sticks have been wasted. On top of that, the weather here has been nuts. My temps are going crazy.

We've also been trying to buy a new house, which apparently isn't gonna happen. We cant get approved for enough to cover the cost of the house we want. All we can get approved for is like 1/2 of it, and you cant even get an apartment out here with that little bit.

Im so stressed and upset. I think im gonna focus on getting back into shape and dropping some weight before TTC again. We'll still BD, but we aren't gonna stress it. DF doesn't wanna stop. He want to try hard every month. I just don't think I can right now.

I guess i'll keep you all posted.

Can't find it

So, DF's mother spent the entire day yesterday, trying to get DF's tax forms from the accountant. The promised they would fax it over by the days end at the latest. She sat on the phone with them for an hour, bitching that we need this NOW!

Well, it's now the next day and we still don't have the papers. The claim that they "can't find them". You have no idea how furious I am. It is their JOB to keep these papers in a safe place.

So now DF's mom has been calling them non stop. Hopefully they will find the damn things. I don't know what we're gonna do if those papers are truly lost. We need them now.

Sh*t like this really gets to me. As if we don't have enough negative things happening, we need this added to the mix. I could really use some good news right about now.

Aggravated and anxious

Warning: Long post!

Df's grandmother took a nasty spill at Dillards department store, a little over a year ago. She broke her hip and hasn't been the same since. She decided to sue them in order to pay her medical bills, and of course for their negligence.

Well, after all this time, the decision was made yesterday. DF's parents went with her to what they thought was supposed to be a settlement meeting, but turned out to be arbitration. Dillards attorney's screwed her. They won't give her anymore then $50,000. That's bullshit! Her bills alone are more then that, and she owes the attorney 1/3 of the settlement.

She was supposed to get ATLEAST 6 figures. With that money she was gonna pay off her bills, pay the attorney, and loan us 10k to use towards a house. DF's parents already put a contract on a house, which they had to pull out of cause of this. Because they were screwed, we got screwed.

See, DF and I rent a house from his parents. They were gonna give us 10k of his grandmothers settlement, and then when they sell the house we're in, they were gonna pay her back with money from the equity. Now they can't do that.

So, instead of having money to put down on the house, we have nothing. We already fell in love with this one house, and even have the loan officer working on getting us approved for a loan. He said without the money its gonna be tough to get a loan big enough to get into a house out here, but he'll see what he can do.

He has all our info, but he's waiting on us to drop off DF's tax forms for the past 2 years. As soon as we do that, he can tell us what we can and can't do as far as buying a house. I called DF's mother today to make sure she's getting the papers. She said she's having it faxed over and she should have it today. Once it comes through im gonna bring it to the loan officer and let him crunch the numbers.

Now comes the waiting. Once He gets the papers, it will be about 4 days before he can tell us the outcome. Hopefully i'll know by Saturday. DF and I really love this house. It's exactly what we want and it's a great price. Im so anxious to know what's gonna happen now that we don't have the $10,000. DF's father says he will try to get us the money he promised but he isn't sure where it's gonna come from yet.

Needless to say i've been stressing over this. I just found out yesterday that we aren't getting the money so im in a panic.

Nothing new with us TTC. We're onto yet another month. Right now I don't have much faith. With everything that's going wrong in our lives, it's hard to stay positive. That's easier said then done.

DF has cut out caffeine, which is good, but he's getting migraines and he has no energy. I hate seeing him like that, but im glad he's doing his part to help his swimmers.

Well, if anything changes i'll post..

Well I bought them

I bought 10 POUNDS of African yams. They should be here in 2-10 days. The shelf life on them is 3-4 weeks so I am gonna have to eat the hell outta those things so they dont go bad. lol

I excited to try it. I hope it works.

I just spoke with a really cool guy name Stephen. He's from Ganna (I hope I spelled that right). He gave me so much information. HE even told me about an herb that can bring on your cycle..much like provera. It's in a tablet form but is made of all natural herb from Africa.

He's gonna send me an email later today after he researches some thing. He's gonna see what he can find in Africa that has to do with fertility. WOOHOO. Hell at this point im willing to try anything. Can you blame me?

Well that's it for now. I'll let you know how it goes...

Here it comes

Yep, im talking about AF. Im spotting a lot so it's only a matter of minutes before she hits with a vengeance. I was pretty upset the past couple days, but I have new hope. Im gonna try pre-seed and African yams.

African yams are known to cause hyper ovulation (the release of more then on egg) which in turns ups your chances of conceiving twins. That, along with the pre-seed should help. If not, then i'll know that something is wrong 100%. After all, this is the 8th month now that we'll be BD without condoms or birth control, and I KNOW when I ovulate because of my CPFM and BBT.

So, that's the game plan for this cycle. Let's hope it works!

I knew it...

Just like I figured, my temp dropped drastically. Why am I given false hope?? WHY? Why must my chart turn triphasic? Why the imp dip? Why the early ovulation on Christmas eve?

Im so depressed. I feel like pouring myself a huge glass of wine (yes I know it's not even 8am) and crawling into bed. Im dying for a cigarette too.

Im gonna have DF set an appointment to get a SA asap. I pray im wrong and that it's not him, but it's the only thing that makes sense. Atleast if it were me, we'd have options. If it's him, games over. Im not gonna do DIUI.

I already have 2 children and for that im grateful, but we really want one together. It's a way of having 2 families become one. This way we're all linked by blood. He may not be blood to my children, but my children are blood to me, which would be blood to the baby, which is blood to DF. Unity!

Now all there is to do is sit and wait for AF to arrive. She should be here tomorrow.

Yesterday had it's ups and downs

Emotionally that is. I took a HPT first thing in the morning and it was a BFN. For some odd reason, 4 hours later, I decided to go look at it again. To my surprise, there was now a second line. I've never had a positive or an evap line on the DT HPT's before.

Naturally I drove myself nuts. DF happened to be home recovering from the flu. Luckily he was feeling much better and I was able to send him to the store to pick up more HPT's so I could test again.

I tested for the second time yesterday and it was another BFN. Im not surprised, but I am a little sad. I didn't expect much this cycle, but oddly enough, my chart looks so much better this cycle then it has before. Not to mention the nausea, headaches and backpain I am having (which could be signs of me getting the flu, instead of PG symptoms).

After temping this AM and seeing my temps are still up, I decided to test again. I got what a expected. Another BFN. It's still early so I shouldn't give up, but it's so hard to stay positive when you keep seeing negatives.

AF is due the day after tomorrow (Friday). If my temps dip at all tomorrow, I can pretty much expect them to plummet on Friday and AF arrive. If they stay up, then atleast I will have hope. If she doesn't show, then I will test again. Im thinking about testing Friday if my temps are good. If AF doesn't show and im still getting BFN's then I guess im gonna fork out the money to get the blood test done. The cheapest place I found to get it done wants $94 and then it takes 24-48 hours to get the results. So if I got the test done Saturday, I wouldn't even get the results until Tuesday. In which case, I may as well just keep using HPT's right? But then again, it's possible to be PG and still get BFN's. The only way to know for sure is to get the blood work done.

Ok, that's what im gonna do. Im gonna test Friday with FMU if my temps are still up. If AF doesn't show and im still getting BFN's, I am gonna schedule a Beta HCG for Monday. I'll be 16dpo then and I will get a definite answer. Worst case scenario is that I am not PG. Then they can prescribe something like Provera to jump start my next cycle. Im willing to discuss Clomid with them as well. From what I read, it's been known to aid in the conception of twins. At this point im willing to try just about anything.

BFN but....

It's still early. Im only 10dpo. I expected a BFN so im not to upset. I know it's still early. Besides, I didn't expect to have a shot at all this cycle so I am actually happy to see my temps rising.

Speaking of temps rising, FF just notified me that my chart went triphasic on cd27. Though that does not guarantee pregnancy, it's a good sign of early pregnancy. I guess i'll test again on Saturday if AF doesn't show on Friday.

Until then....

Im gonna test

Im 9dpo today so tomorrow im gonna test. I don't expect a BFP, but it sure would be great to see. If it is a BFN i'll test again 4 days later at 14dpo (if AF doesn't show that is).

I've been EXTREMELY tired lately. Im not getting out of bed until 9:30am and event hen im DRAGGING myself. Come 2pm im back asleep for another 3 hours or so. Im also having bad back pains and im queasy at times. I want to believe these are PG signs, but it's that time of year where the flu is going around so I could be getting that. I hope not though. I HATE being sick.. HATE IT!!!

I guess that's about it. I'll post my results tomorrow. Please pray for us that we get a BFP tomorrow morning...