2ww's SUCK! LOL

Anyone actively ttc will agree lol. It's all a waiting game. Waiting to O, waiting for you S/O so you can BD, and then the dreaded 2ww. That's the WORST! I want soooo badly to take an HPT but it's way to early to get an accurate result. It would no doubt be negative. Im only 5-6dpo. I told myself that I would wait until December 7th. Then i'll be 15-16dpo and would probably get an accurate result.

Im praying that this is the cycle I get my BFP. I want this so much. It's ALL I want for xmas. Nothing to unwrap, nothing to wear. Just a BFP.

Please God, hear our prayers. We want nothing more then to conceive a child. We have so much love to give. We pray that you will bring us our miracle soon.

11 days

Only 11 days to go until HPT time! It seems like forever!

Yesterday my BBT dropped a significant amount. It's possible that it was implantation, but that's really early. It was probably because I didn't get much sleep due to black friday shopping. I fell asleep about 11:30pm and was out of bed at 2:50am. It was also really cold in my house last night.

I did however notice a little brownish color in my jammy bottoms (would have been undies but I never wear them). That im not sure how to explain. I guess only time will tell right? I just hate having to wait.

The waiting game!

Well, im 100% sure that I O'd on Monday. I reached my peak on Monday morning to let me know I was about to O. I remained peak yesterday as well (just to remind me to BD again). Today im down to high fertility, and soon it will be low.

I know im only 2dpo but I noticed something unusual. Im a smoker so of course, I want the nicotine. Every time I try to smoke I get queasy. Event he smell of it makes me sick to my stomach. The same thing happened with my previous pregnancies. Im hoping this is a good sign that I truely am PG. I wont know for sure until December 7th (that's when I plan on testing........if I can wait that long).

Please say a prayer for me. I want this so much.

I HIT PEAK TODAY!!!

OMG I so freaking excited. Im on CD 23 so I thought it wasn't gonna happen but it did. I POAS this am and my CPFM shows peak with a little eggy in the middle!!! Im bloated and cramping on my left side (I've never been so happy to feel like crap LOL).

DF and I BD last night so we got that covered. We tried this AM but I this I was putting to much pressure on him. He couldn't stay erect. That's not something he normally has an issue with but I understand why it happened. We only had 5 minutes to spare to BD. We tried but it didn't work, so we'll just do it again when he gets home. Then one more time tomorrow of course :)

Please God, let us catch the eggy. All I want for Xmas is a BFP!!

Clarity

Ok it seems I haven't O'd yet. FF screwed up because I had some wacky temps going on. Im on CD22 and still waiting to O. It sucks having to wait this long. I feel like it's NEVER gonna happen. I've already gone through 16 test sticks. They are so expensive. $50 for a box of 30. That's supposed to be a 3 month supply but it seems to be more like a one month supply for me :( At this rate, im gonna have to tell everyone that I want CPFM test sticks for xmas LOL

That's about it I guess. Nothing really new to mention, I know, im boring lol

No change

Im still not sure whether or not I O'd. FF says I did but my CPFM STILL hasn't shown me at peak. I just find it odd that I would be highly fertile for 13 days in a row without hitting peak fertility. Weird *shrugs*.

Im getting prepared for Thanksgiving. I just got back from finishing my shopping. This is the first Thanksgiving that I am staying home and cooking. Every year (my entire life) I was always at someone else's house. This year is MY year! hehe I think I got everything I need other then one item. I can pick that up at anytime. I already cooked the turkey (long story don't ask) so I have all of Thanksgiving day to bake and make side dishes. That will be easy on me.

I will be one of the maniacs doing black Friday shopping. It's gonna be a madhouse but I can deal with it. Oh the things we do for the ones we love hahah. I need to pick up an MP3 player, a butt load of toys from the kids' xmas lists, and even some PS2 games. It's gonna be a madhouse, but these are once a year deals. The cheaper each item is, the more excess money I have to buy other things for the kiddo's.

Well, that's it for now. I know, nothing really important. If anything changes, I will post and share.

This weekend

First of all, im actually glad it's Monday. I love weekends because I get to spend time with my family. I usually don't look forward to Monday's at all. I do today, because I can finally post here and fill you all in on what's been going on.

I wasn't online this weekend. I had a lot to do. I spent the weekend with my kids and DF. We all worked together to get the house looking really nice for Thanksgiving (man I can't believe it's almost here already) and then we bug bombed the house. We had an abundance of flies that kept coming in whenever we let the dogs outside. Apparently everyone in this area had that problem. Weird weather I guess.

While the bug bombs were doing their job, DF and I sat on the deck while the kids played in the yard. I ended up cooking on the grill (which is always yummy) and we ate dinner outside. I really enjoyed myself.

Anyway, DF has been doing better at giving it up LOL. As you can see on my chart, we've BD atleast every other day which will increase our chances of conception. The problem with that, is that FF says I O'd 3 days ago (November 11th) and we didn't DTD then. I tried but DF just wasn't having it. There's still a chance that I conceived though (if FF is right about my O date). If we knew for sure that I was gonna O that day, then DF would have givin it up.

Which brings me to an issue im having. My CPFM hasn't shown that I hit peak yet. Which means the monitor doesn't think I O'd yet. Im not sure which to go by. FF or my CPFM. Im not sure if im in the 2ww or if im still waiting to O. Confusing right?

Im not sure what to think at this point. TTC is stressful lol. I guess I play the waiting game now (while continuing to DTD) and hope for the best.

Wish me luck!

Fertility Friend

When I wake up, I take my temp and use my CPFM. I then rush to my computer to enter all my info and symptoms. Today, Fertility Friend says im most fertile!!!! My CPFM says probably fertile but that's ok with me. That means I am about to ovulate any time now. YAY!

I just hope I didn't O this morning. The eddy only lasts about 12 hours on average. That means I wont have to BD before the eggy dies. I have an interview tonight that I cannot miss and that's not until 5:30pm. Im still gonna BD tonight and tomorrow and the next few days (if possible) in hopes that I am just getting ready to O but didn't yet.

WISH ME LUCK!!!

High but no peak yet

I've been adamant about using my CPFM everyday. So far I love it and I look forward to waking up every morning to use it. It still shows me at high fertility, but no peak yet. I never had a low fertility day since it first asked me to start testing. Im not sure if that's normal or not since this is my first month using it.

Just to be on the safe side, DF and I have been BD when possible (as you can see on my chart). Better safe then sorry right? Id rather do it more times then not enough. Hopefully that will work out for the best.

Sometimes it's difficult to get DF to wanna BD. He's kind of in an emotional rut. He's been down on himself a lot lately and I know first hand that feeling depressed can put a damper on your sex drive. I do my best to spice things up in hopes that it will cheer him up and allow him to feel good.

Yesterday we had a falling out. I hate when he's upset and I always try my best to cheer him up. I want him to feel good about himself. I also want him to be in the mood to BD. Can't make a baby without that lol. Because of this, I decided that I was gonna dress up for him. I took a shower, did my hair and makeup, and slipped into a sexy black flowing nightgown. When he came home he was in shock. Normally im in boxers and a t-shirt so this was a huge change.

Around 8pm we went into the bedroom to watch TV for a bit. I pulled out the baby oil and gave him a full body massage. That seemed to work nicely. He was very relaxed, and it got him in the mood. Im sure you can figure out where it went from there lol.

Afterwards, I "assumed the position". You know the one I mean. Pillow under my butt and my legs up in the air. I stayed like that for about 15 minutes. After that I was so tired I just rolled over and cuddled with DF until we both fell asleep. It was a great night. I wish every night could be like that. I felt wanted, loved and beautiful. Id dress up more often, but then it would lose it's effect. You know what they say about to much of a good thing...

My tooth is doing much better today...so far. Last night I woke up around 3am with pain. Apparently I bit down really hard on my hurt tooth and I woke up in such pain. I took a pain pill and another antibiotic and closed my eyes. It worked well but it was hard for me to get up this AM. Unfortunately, im down to 2 pain pills. That's it. After that im gonna be stuck with the pain until I can get to the dentist. Sadly, there's no need for a dentist until I can get rid of the infection/swelling. They cant fix a tooth that is impacted until you get rid of that.

Back to baby making lol. Im on cycle day 11 (technically). I started AF 11 days ago, but it was late in the evening. When using a CPFM, you start it on the first FULL day of your cycle. So even though I started 11 days ago, im officially on CD10. If my cycle is anything like last month, I wont O for a while. That's where I am confused. Last month I had a 37 day cycle. If this month were to be the same, wouldn't the CPFM have me at low fertility since my O day isn't for a while? Maybe I am back on track and that's why I am slightly fertile right now. I guess only time will tell.

Good mood

Today has been much better as far as pain goes. The meds seem to be working. Thank god for penicillin. The vicodin is ok but doesn't really take the pain away. It just makes me sleepy. The penicillin is getting rid of the infection which is causing the pain. I still have a mad migraine, but I get them all the time. That's not new.

Im pretty tired and would love to take a nap. Unfortunately, that probably wont happen. Although the kids are at school, and im home alone, I still can't sleep. If the dogs aren't jumping on me, the phone is ringing off the hook. Im counting down the hours until bed time lol. As much as I wanna stay up and watch my favorite show (nip/tuck) i'll probably just tape it. Im so exhausted. I need my rest.

My CPFM is still showing me at high fertility. I haven't yet reached my peak but I should anytime now. I would guess within the next 5 days or so. Either way, im glad to have this thing. It took me forever to get one but now that I have it im using it religiously!

I wanted to BD last night so badly, but my DF wasn't in the mood. I hate when that happens, cause then im stuck with hormones that drive me crazy. Can women get blue b*lls? LOL

Hopefully DF will be in the mood tonight. If not, im gonna jump him anyway. He needs to put out more lol. I sound like a guy lol that's so sad. I can't help it though. My body is telling me it's time to BD. Maybe i'll set the stage by giving our room a romantic touch. Hmm that sounds good. I should go out and pick up some rose petals and candles. I think he'll like that.

To good to be true!

I knew it! I knew the pain wouldn't subside for long. Im ready to pull the damn tooth out myself. I cant take this pain. It's soooooooo awful! It was ok until I tried to eat something (so I didn't starve) and I bit down with the bad tooth. Now my tooth hurts again, as well as my ear, my nose, my neck and my temple. It's throbbing so friggin badly!

I've taken 2 vicodin back to back and its not helping. I wont take anymore then that. I learned my lessen when I took to much acetaminophen on Saturday. Ugh I need a dentist asap! Not that it matters though. They cant do anything until I can get the swelling to go down. That will be like a week from now, so until then I have to suffer....

***cries***

Feeling icky

I still don't feel to well, but that's to be expected I suppose. After everything I went through this past weekend, im lucky that all I really feel is tummy pain. Nothing seems to be soothing it though. I tried sitting in a hot bath but that didn't work (normally it does) and neither did the warm milk. Not even pepto worked. I guess it will just go away in time.

My tooth is feeling better. Seems that the antibiotics are helping. Im taking the vicodin as needed, but I hate how tired and groggy it makes me. It's hard for me to go about my daily activities when im all drugged up.

Im gonna grab a bite to eat and kick back. I just laid new floors down in the guest bathroom and that took a lot out of me. Once I feel a little better I will post some more.

Update

It's 6:00pm (EST) and I still feel like crap. I've been sleeping most of the day away (off and on) because of the vicodin. It makes me so darn drowsy, but doesn't quite take the pain away. I have another pain that's messing with me on top of the tooth pain.

Last night (before I went to the ER for the second time) I was in SO much pain that I took to many doses of 3 different meds. I took 1320mg of Aleve (not supposed to take more then 660mg in 24 hours), 2500mg of Excedrin (not supposed to take more then 1000mg) and 5 MOUTHFULLS of Niquil (only supposed to take 2 teaspoons). I know how horrible that sounds, but the pain was so bad and I was so tired. I just wanted to rest.

Well, apparently that tore apart my tummy. I now feel like I have an ulcer. It's hard for me to take a deep breath, and it's a constant throbbing. Even when I fall asleep (due to the vicodin) I wake up an hour later in pain. I know it's my own fault, but it never occurred to me that something like this would/could happen.

Hopefully it's only temporary pain. I really hope I didn't do any long term damage to my body. I would never forgive myself. I didn't even mention it to the doctors in the ER because I really needed them to dispense pain meds for my tooth. I was afraid they wouldn't help me if I told them how much acetaminophen I already consumed. I did however tell them about the pain. They seemed to think it's because of all the vomiting I did, and it's nothing to worry about. It's very possible that's all it is, but I guess i'll never know.

Went to the ER

Warning, this is going to be a long post. If you feel like reading it, I suggest you get something to eat and drink before hand, since you'll be here for a while.

As most of you know, I have some serious pain going on with my teeth. I've been trying to get into a dentist for months but it's difficult when you don't have dental insurance (and they wont work out a payment plan).

This past week has been the worst by far. I haven't been able to eat solid foods. I've been living off food that doesn't force me to chew (like spaghetti o's, soup, and slim fast shakes). As the week went on, even that became difficult. I've been extremely nauseous.

Yesterday was rough. I couldn't keep anything in my tummy. I tried taking some Dramamine with a sip of water, but I threw it back up within seconds. That made my teeth hurt more, and also made my stomach feel VERY acidic. As the tears rolled down my face, and my mouth hurt even more, I tried to lay in bed. I was hoping I would be able to fall asleep as I haven't slept much in a few days.

Around 2pm I gave in and went to the ER. I tried calling more dentists first but no one would help me. They were all being so cold and didn't seem to care that I was in horrible pain. I sat in the waiting area for SEVERAL hours but they never called my name. To make matters worse, I had my kids with me and they kept complaining about being hungry, so I left and got them food.

I started feeling a little better after about an hour. I got something to eat and actually kept it down. That helped with the nausea.........until 10pm. That's when s*** really hit the fan. The pain was so intense at this point that it gave me a knot in my stomach that feels like an ulcer. I was crying like a newborn and begging DF to help me. He said "all I can do is bring you back to the hospital". I agreed to go so he woke up the kids and off we went...................again!

It's now midnight and we just pulled up to the hospital. There I am in my jammies and pink fuzzy slippers. All I can do is pray that they can help me this time around.

Once again they took my blood pressure and temp. and got me another puke bucket (just incase. I was feeling sick again because of the burning in my tummy). Fortunately, I didn't end up needing it, but like they say, "it's better to be safe then sorry".

Around 2am they called my name. They sat me down on a very comfy recliner type chair and had me wait until a doctor could check me out. When she finally did, she say just how bad off I was. She told the nurse to give me a shot in my hip to take away the nausea, and then to give me pain meds and antibiotics once the nausea is gone.

I think it was about 40 minutes after the shot that they gave me some 7-up and crackers. I was able to keep it all down so they gave me 2 vicodin and 2 penicillin. Unfortunately it didn't help a ton. Don't get me wrong, I was in better shape then when I got there but the pain was still very noticeable.

Im allergic to codeine, but I didn't care. It's not a serious allergy. It just makes my nose itch a LOT lol. Id rather have a itchy nose then pain, wouldn't you?

Finally, at 3:45am they discharged me and sent me to the Rx to get the prescriptions filled (which I did). On the way home the pain actually got worse so I took one more vicodin in hopes that the pain would lessen. That didn't happen persay.

I decided that maybe a little "lovin" might help to relax me and put me to sleep. That only helped while it was going on. Once DF and I were done, the pain was strong again. I figured it's because I have an infection so I took another penicillin, coated my teeth and gums in anbesol, and took deep breaths. Last time I looked at the clock it was 5:20am. At least I was able to fall asleep.

I woke up at 7:00am because the phone was ringing. I was fine at first, but the pain came rushing back again. I took a vicodin and a penicillin and within 5 minutes of taking it, I was ready to fall over. So, I crawled back into bed and slept for another 2 hours.

So, it's been an eventful night lol. Im still in pain but it's not anything like it was yesterday. Im probably gonna spend most of the day in bed resting since I haven't done much of that in a long time. If im feeling up to it later, I have some house work I want/need to get done. I guess i'll play it by ear.

Well, that's about it. I guess I should get something to eat. Thanks for listening!

Not feeling so good

Yesterday was awful. I've been in serious pain cause of my tooth. I can't eat solid foods at all. Im living off of soup and spaghetti o's. DF went to the food store and bought be $20 worth of canned soup so I don't starve.

I still don't feel well today. On top of this horrible pain, I have bad cramps, a headache, and im EXTREMELY nauseous. I wish I could go back to bed and stay there all day, but that's not likely. Not only am I wide awake, but all the pain im feeling would keep me up anyway.

On a positive note, today was the first day using a test stick with my CPFM. It showed high fertility. That's a good sign! Im not at my peak yet, but im well on my way. Maybe baby dancing will make me feel better.

DF says he wants to take me to the doctor today. Most doctors offices aren't open on Saturday's but they walk in centers that are open 7 days a week. Im tempted to get so I can find out why I feel so crappy.

I guess we'll see how the day progresses.

Feeling good today

Im in a great mood today. I don't know how or why, but I am and I like it :) I feel great. I wish I could feel like this everyday, but since I don't, im gonna enjoy it lol.

Today is day 3 of using the CPFM. So far I haven't needed to test, but I think that will be starting soon. I really hope to O and catch the eggy. Im thinking positive. We'll see how it goes..

Other then that I don't have any news yet, but, it's still early so who knows where the day will lead.

WOOHOO!

I got it! I found my username and password. I can't believe it took so long. Im thankful that I still had it though. Man, I don't know what i'd do without it. Im gonna go enter my information before I forget that too.

I swear im so forgetful today...

Im so pissed right now!

I've been using Fertility Friend, to chart my temperature, cycles, and ovulation. Well, when I went there today to enter my morning temp (and other info) I was no longer logged in. That was odd to begin with. When I tried logging in, I couldn't remember my username and password. I tried having the information sent to my email address, but I couldn't remember what email address I used to sign up. I entered every email address I have and one of them worked. When I logged in with the info they sent me, it was like I was never there. My guess is that I signed up 2 times to this site (one time being months and months ago) and that's the account they found. I would have to start all over (which I tried but it screwed up my cycle).

I don't know what to do. I need to chart all my stuff, but I cant. My account is still there because I can click the link to view my chart, I just can't edit it without logging in...which I can't do! UGH im so pissed.

What the hell am I supposed to do? There's no way of contacting the owners of the site (believe me I looked over and over again). I really need to be able to log in. I feel like all the charting i've been doing has been for nothing. If I don't add new information, it's gonna screw up the data that's already there which will make it even harder for me to conceive. I feel like crying!

Wishful thinking....

Well, today is day one using my CPFM. Im VERY excited. I have a positive outlook this month. I feel like there is hope yet. Im gonna follow the FM booklet to a T, and hopefully i'll get that BFP I have been so deperately seeking.

Call it wishful thinking, but today I actually spent most of the day online, searching for baby items (crib bedding, strollers, high chairs, etc). I guess I want this so badly, that I wanna be prepared when the time comes. So, I made a personal registry for myself so I know what to get when it's time to get it. I know, im such a nutcase LOL.

Who knows, maybe positive thinking does make a difference. I guess we'll see. All I know is that there is a baby out there, trying to find me. Someday we will find one another. Until then, I will be here wishing and praying for him or her...