Wow what a surprise!

This morning (much like every morning) I tested with my CPFM and to my surprise it had a reading of high. Im on CD16 so that's not common for me. Maybe i'll get lucky and O earlier then normal. Id like that very much.

OH OH..more good news. The pre-seed I ordered arrived today. Im gonna try it out tonight **evil grin** That oughta be fun heh.

Today I went to pick up DF from work, and while I was waiting I played the "first song" game. All you do is think of a question and randomly choose a radio station. The song playing will answer the question you're wondering about. Well, today I said "will this be my month to conceive?" and when I turned on the radio, the words I heard were "hey little thing let my light your fire, cause MOMMA im sure hot to handle". That got me REALLY excited.

I truely hope this month will be our month. We're doing everything phycially possible to try. Charting, BBT, SMEP, using the CPFM, CM checking and praying. Hopefully it will happen this time around.

SMEP

Well, DF And I decided to try the SMEP route. We're BD every other day from CD8 until O. Once my CPFM says im going to O, we will BD that day, as well as the next 2 days. Im on CD12 today, so tonight is "date night" lol. We DTD on CD8 and CD10 so far. I didn't O until CD20-24 though so it's gonna be a while. Lots of BD too lol

I ordered some pre-seed last night. Hopefully it will make it here in time to use this cycle. It's worth a shot to use. I've heard so many great things about it from other women who have successfully conceived.

So I went and got my hair done the other day, and (I still can't believe it) I cut almost 7" off of my hair. My hair is still like 4" past my shoulders though. I didn't realize my hair was that long. I do miss it, but I love the cut I have. It's easy to maintain, and looks so healthy. Im glad I cut it.

My nails have gotten really long to. I stopped biting them lol. Now they are naturally long and beautiful. They're very strong too. It's amazing how simple things like that can make you feel good.

FINALLY got my car back!

Wednesday, DF and I took a 2 hour ride to pick up my car. When we arrived, they tried to make me sign a paper that claimed I saw my car and that it was in the same shape as before they towed it. No way in hell I was signing that.

When I finally inspected the car, I noticed a LOT of damage to my front bumper. I took photos of it and complained to the tow truck people. They are fighting with Mitsubishi over who's liable for the damage. We all know it's the tow company who's liable but of course they are trying to point fingers elsewhere.

I'll make sure to get it fixed no matter what. They caused the damage so they WILL pay for it. I won't let them get away with devaluing my car.

Im just glad to have my car back. It's good to know that it's paid off too. Now I just have to get my moms name removed from the title. Im not taking any chances. Lord knows she's bad with money an if something were to happen, I don't want the car liquidated for assets. So, off her name shall go!

That's about it. No news on the TTC front. Im on CD9 waiting to O.

I'm getting my car back!!!!!!!

So that friend of mine who offered to help me out FINALLY came through. Im not sure what was going on with her, but she was definitely avoiding my phone calls. Everytime I would call, she wouldn't answer and I knew she was home. Even when I left messages with her hubby, she still wouldn't call.

Well, yesterday my DF was taking my into town so I could cash a check, but I couldn't find my purse ANYWHERE! I went nuts thinking it was in my car. If that were the case I wouldn't get it back. After thinking for quite some time, I realized that it was at Cate's house. DF put it in her closet on superbowl Sunday and I accidentally left it there. I tried calling her but again, she didn't answer. I left a message but still called her hubby on his cell. He picked up and said she's home and for me to go over there and get my purse.

When we got there, I sent DF to the door. I didn't know what kind of mood she was in or why she had been avoiding me. All I knew is that we didn't have a whole lot of time to get to the bank, and if I went in, Cate and I would end up talking for a long period of time.

So DF goes in to get my purse (she answered after about 5 minutes). He wasn't in there all that long, maybe 6 or 7 minutes, and he comes out with my purse. As we're pulling out of the driveway he tells me that Cate wrote the check like she originally said, but that she was acting weird. He told me that she had him write the check but she signed it. Odd thing is, she had him make it out to "cash" instead of his own name or my name.

After much thought, we decided to call her and see if she would re-write the check in his name and she eagerly agreed. So we went back to her house (after cashing the check I already had so we could get groceries), and she re-wrote it. We rushed to her bank and made it just in time. We were able to cash the check without a problem, but I wasn't able to get ahold of Mitsubishi. I tried calling them to get the info as to where I should send the money gram, but they never called me back. I thought they were open on the weekends, but they aren't. So, I have to call them Monday to get this all taken care of.

To make a long story short, I am getting my car back! Cate will get her money back asap, I just needed a loan to get my car back within the 10 days that they gave me. Now that it's getting taken care of I can finally relax and get back to TTC again.

I can't wait to BD. Unfortunately AF is still here and will be for a couple more days. As of CD8 we are gonna BD every other day until I O. Once I O we will do it that day, as well as the next day or two. I figured SMEP is worth a shot....right?

AF is here

She showed today with extreme force, but I was expecting her arrival. She was actually supposed to be here yesterday but I think all the stress screwed that up. My LP was ALWAYS 12 days without fail, until this cycle. Hopefully things will be back to normal this time around. The last thing I want or need is additional problems TTC.

This month DF and I are gonna try the SMEP method. I've heard good things about it so I figured we'd give it a shot. Can't hurt right?

I still have no clue what im gonna so about the car. I have 7 days to have that money to Mitsubishi or my car is gone forever. Im trying so hard not to think about it but that's truly easier said then done.

Mom is trying to get a home equity loan to over it but they told her it would take 14-16 days to get her the money. That doesn't really help.

A friend of mine offered to cover it for me, but now all of a sudden she's avoiding my calls and not returning my messages. She even spoke with my mom AND Mitsubishi (on Monday right after this happened) to reassure them that she would take care of it. Now 3 days later it's still not paid and im back to square one.

Yesterday was really rough as well. I had 3 panic attacks. One of them was mild though. Luckily that one came when I was laying in bed last night. I was fine and out of nowhere it hit. I wasn't even thinking about the car. I was watching TV. Atleast the sporadic ones are usually tame. I don't know how many more of them I can handle without my meds.

Well that's about it. IF and when things change i'll let you all know.

Still no good news

My car is still gone, and I still don't have the money to get it out of repo. Mom claims she's gonna take it out of her home equity (its the least she can do) but who knows if that's gonna happen. I only have 8 days to pay off $6700 or its gone forever.

AF is due later today. Im sure she'll be right on time. Isn't she always? Hopefully this upcoming cycle will be good. Maybe things will be better around O and I can actually hope for a BFP and get one. Guess i'll wait and see.

Severely Depressed.....

and not over my chart. For the first time EVER, im glad im not PG. I thought the other day was bad (with the allergic reaction)??? Boy was I wrong. That was fun compared to yesterday.

Im sittin here yesterday, chatting on FF, when my daughter came running in the room (she was out of school being sick) to say "the man is here to fix your car".

I ran out of the house SCREAMING! They were towing my car from my driveway. I had them stop and I asked what they were doing. His response was "repossession". I FREAKED out. I said "there's no way! Mitsubishi was just paid $1800 to cover every late payment". (My mom was supposed to be making my payments as a gift to me and apparently she hadn't made them in 6 months until the other day).

So I sat in my car and called the police. We live in a gated community so we have our own police department. When I called, I heard one of the officers asking another one if he had let in a tow truck for a repossession. Apparently no one knew they were here for that. All these people said is they were here to tow a car. They never checked ID or anything!

So an officer arrives, checks over his paper work, and calls Mitsubishi (since the f***head of a tow truck driver refused to call). They said that Yes, it is out for repo. So I got on the phone and it was Eric (the guy my mom supposedly handled all of this with). Now he's telling me that regardless of her paying that money, my car is being reposessed. This is the part where I have a breakdown in front of everyone.

I had to suck up my pride and call a friend of mine and ask her for $6700 to pay off what was left on my car. She said no problem and called the guy at mitsubishi to do a bank wire. He refused and said they only take money gram. Well, living in the middle of nowhere, the closest money gram is 30 minutes away by car. So the plan was, to go today. Well, now my friend has the flu. So today is out too.

I spent the whole day yesterday, drinking. All I could think about was getting plastered. I even took a xanax to calm me right after all this happened. I got so freaked out that I threw up in front of everyone. So this is why im glad I am not PG.

My mom actually had the nerve to call me and say "forgive me?" F**K no I don't!!! You just took the only vehicle I have!

My kids' school is a 25 minute drive away. Their bus stop is 2 miles a way. I have no way of getting them their or picking them up. My kids are gonna have to stop cheerleading, ballet and basketball, and they are gonna fail school.

So yeah....what a pain!

DF and I went to a super bowl party yesterday. We had a good time, and the kids had other children they could play with. Unfortunately, we didn't get out of there until 11:00pm. By the time we got home, got the kids in bed, and got ourselves in bed, it was 12:30pm.

I was able to fall asleep pretty easily, but staying asleep seemed to much a chore. I woke up every few hours and would toss and turn. I even kicked my blanket off numerous times and it was chilly in the house. I never got continuous sleep.

I tested 5 minutes later then normal, but atleast I tested. The problem is that I don't know if the result was accurate. With everything going wrong all night, it could have screwed with my temp. So now im confused. This is the second time since O that there's been an issue. This month has been hell TTC, and we weren't even trying thing month. We were just doing our own thing, hoping it would happen.

My chart was looking soooo nice, and I even spotted on CD8. All signed and symptoms pointed to the big PG. I started getting excited. Now I don't know what to think. I feel like im being left in the dark. How can I keep track of this stuff if my info isn't accurate?

AF is due to arrive the day after tomorrow. I guess I will know more then. If she doesn't show, then i'll test with FMU the following day. This is what i'm hoping for but let's face it...im not that lucky.

Glad yesterday is over!

I had a horrible day yesterday.

At 7:15am, I took a zantrex 3 (diet pill). I got the kids off to school and came back to the house. I was just saying goodbye to DF, when I doubled over in pain. It felt like something was eating my insides. It burned so badly, and I was short of breath.

Within seconds, I broke out in red splotches all over my body. It felt like I had a serious sunburn, yet it itched too. Even my face had this rash, but that felt more like windburn. It was so tender!

DF called out of work and rushed me to a medical facility. On the way, I started getting queasy, and really light headed. I even zoned out a few times.

Upon arrival, they took my vital stats and everything was normal. They could see something was wrong though just by looking at me. Not only was my skin red, but I was moving in slow motion.

They ended up giving me a shot to counteract the effect of the niacin in the diet pill. There's so much of it in there, that my body had an adverse reaction. It's weird to me because I used to take these pills all the time. This was a brand new, unopened bottle that wasn't set to expire until September of 2007.

The had me taking benedryl every 4 hours to keep the side effects from coming back. That seemed to help, but kept me very lethargic.

Im feeling much better today. It seems like yesterday was just a bad dream. Im thankful it's over though.

No news with TTC. Only change is that my temp shot up today, but it's possible it's because of yesterday's horror. Guess we'll see. I don't have any expectations since we weren't exactly trying this month (due to everything going wrong).

Im on CD28 and im 7DPO. AF is due to arrive in 6 days. If she doesn't show for whatever reason, i'll test. Im expecting her arrival though.