I GOT IT!

Well, I got my CPFM today. The mail lady tried to deliver it on Saturday but I wasn't here to sign for it. I went to the post office today and picked it up. After that, I drove around like a maniac, trying to find the test sticks for it. I only had to go to 4 stores to find them. Each store being 20 minutes further then the last...but hey, it's worth it right?

Im going to reset it and start using it first thing tomorrow. Hopefully this will be my month to get a BFP!!!

Oh..that reminds me. I need to call and cancel my appointment for Wednesday with the pregnancy center. Im obviously not pregnant yet so I need to cancel so someone else can have that time slot. I better go do that!

AF has finally arrived

It took quite a while, but AF has arrived. Normally this would be upsetting but im not upset at all. This is the start of a new cycle, while means another chance to conceive when I O.

Im looking forward to this cycle more then the past ones, because I now have a fertility monitor to use. Hopefully this will help me conceive. Id give anything to get PG this month.

Im gonna go out tomorrow and pick up some test sticks for the fertility monitor. If what people tell me is true, then I need to start using the monitor on the 5th day of my cycle. That's only 4 days from now. Gotta be ready :)

Well, that's about it. Nothing else new to report yet, but as soon as there is, you know i'll post about it :)

CPFM!

I just bought a Clear plan fertility monitor! I can't wait for it to arrive. The woman I bought it from said that it shipped today. I assume it should be here by Tuesday. This definitely helped my mood. I'll be buying some test strips over the weekend. I was gonna buy them online but I would prefer to have them in hand, when the monitor arrives.

Now the only problem is finding AF. She seems to be off having a good ole time, cause she's obviously nowhere in sight. Once she arrives I can start TTC again. I thought for sure I was PG since Im 6 days late (not to mention the symptoms). I guess my symptoms can be a result of something else, im just not sure what that something else it yet.

Being that I am so late and I am still getting negative test results, I have made an appointment (for November 2nd) to be seen. From what im told, they are gonna do one final pregnancy test. If it's STILL negative, they are going to help me find a doctor that can help get my cycles back on track, and who will take payments (since I don't have health insurance).

Let's hope im either PG (even though that's not likely), or AF arrives. Id hate to be put on medication to regulate my cycle. So many side effects!

Still no change

I didn't post yesterday because nothing new had happened. I had a really bad tooth ache and wasn't feeling well so I decided to wait until today to post.

A few different things are going on. First of all, I still haven't seen AF. It's now CD34 and 19dpo. Im still getting negative HPT's so im not sure what's going on. I guess I should make an appointment the get a blood test done. Then I would know 100% if im PG or not. Although getting negative HPT's is upsetting, it doesn't necessarily mean that im not PG. That all depends on the amount of HCG in my body. The problem is that I don't yet have a doctor out here to go to. When I moved, I never switched doctors. I would just drive the 3 hours to return to my doctors where I used to live. Maybe I should just go to one of those walk in clinics until I can find a doctor out here that I am comfortable with.

On another note, im still trying ot get a CBFM. Ebay seems to be a no go, so I started looking online at classified ads. A good friend of mine found 2 possible listings. I read over what the sellers wrote and decided to email both of them. I got a pretty quick response from them and both said they had the monitor available still. After I started asking questions (are you the original owner, what condition is it in, etc) one of the women emailed me back to say "it's been sold :( sorry!" and that was that. I found that odd but knew I still had a shot with the other lady.

I spent most of last night writing to this other woman, and so far it sounds really good. She's the original owner, the monitor is in great condition, and she even signed up for paypal so I can pay her through there and not have to worry about who im sending money to (sending through paypal shows a paper trail of who you paid and if you do not get what you paid for you can fight it).

When I woke up this AM and checked my emails, I had 2 emails from the first lady I spoke with about the monitor (the one who said it was sold after telling me it was available). She emiled me like nothing happened and said she too signed up for paypal so I can pay her that way. To me that's a red flag. She also said that she is NOT the original owner. She said she bought the monitor used, off a classified ad and is now selling it. I would be the 3rd owner. A friend of mine said "well maybe it's a lucky one. It seems to have worked for both of them". That's one way of looking at it, however, I see it as a monitor that's been used so many times, that there's no telling what condition it really is in.

Im leaning more towards the second lady. She's answered all my questions(and very quickly) and even understands why I would rather pay with paypal and not a money order. Sure it's $25 more, but that's fine with me. It's almost brand new.

Hopefully everything works out and ill have one very soon. I can't wait. I've been trying for a while now to get one and everytime I think I may have one, something comes up and I don't get it. So, keep your fingers crossed for me!

Im getting VERY irritated!

All friggin day long I have been trying to get a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor. I've been on ebay non stop, bidding...over and over and over again. I've lost like 12 times now. Everytime I think "this one is mine" someone jumps in and bids last second past my highest amount.

Earlier today they were topping out at about 60-70 on average. Now they're averaging $80 and up. I don't know if it's my hormones, but im ready to break something. I need this thing so bad, and no matter how many I try to bid on, I lose.

I can't afford to spend $200 getting one from a regular store. Why do that anyway when ebay has them brand new and over half the cost? Just doesn't make sense right? I am in such a mood right now. Im glad I am getting ready for bed, because if I felt like this earlier in the day and had to be around people......ugh..that would be a HUGE mess!

Stupid Ebay bidding wars!

Blog Issues

Last night I wrote a nice long post, but I guess the server was having issues, because it never showed up on my blog. Oh well.

Im feeling a lot better today. I spent a few hours yesterday, crying. After I got that out of my system, I felt much better. So far im feeling OK today. Hopefully the rest of the day stays this way.

Still no sign of AF. I guess this is CD32. She should have showed up on the 21st, or atleast given me a BFP HPT. Like I said yesterday, im not gonna take another test. Not until the 28th. If I still get negative results, im gonna have to make an appointment to get a BT. I need to know what's going on with my body.

That's about it for now. As soon as there's a change, ill add another entry.

Another day of let downs

Im officially 16 DPO, and the HPT's are still coming up negative. I've taken a toal of 7 tests in the past week and all of them say BFN. I don't understand. AF still hasn't arrived, yet all those tests say im not PG. I should be on CD3 right now, but im not.

Im getting very moody. My back hurts, im depressed, and I cant take my mind off of any of it. Im not sure where to go from here. I feel like crawling into bed and crying until I pass out. It's either that or have a few drinks, and I really don't think getting drunk will increase my chances of getting pregnant.

Im gonna try using a fertility monitor. It's worth the money if it helps. Im obviously getting nowhere the way things are going now, so any help I can get is needed.

I seem to have a habit of posting more then once per day, so chances are ill be back later with yet another rant...

Im so weak lol

So, I gave in after six hours and tested. Still negative :( Im not sure what to think. Im new to all these different methods of tracking. I don't currently due the BBT, but I am trying to do the CM method as well as keeping track of AF and O's on a calendar.

On the 15th of October (in the late afternoon), I had CM that was very slippery and sticky. An over abundance of it. From what i've been told, that's a sign of O. I BD'd that night just to be sure, but the calendar says I should have been fertile the 4th-8th and O'd on the 7th. Naturally, im really confused.

The past few days I have had CM that's thick, and white. Until Right now that is. I went to the restroom and noticed that now there's more and it's no longer so thick. It's slippery again and slighty stretchy (like half an inch).

Like I said before, AF hasn't shown yet and she was supposed to arrive yesterday. Im not sure what's going on. Im late, have tenderness around my nipples, loss of appetite, cramping, and a weird feeling in my tummy, on top of being extremely tired. These can all be signs of pregnancy, but they can also be signs of other things as well.

Im at the point now where AF either needs to show up, or go on vacation for the next 9 months. The waiting and wondering is killing me. Normally when someone gets a negative HPT, they take it for what it is and move on, but being that I want this so badly, and im also showing symptoms, I don't know what to think. It's possible that it's still to early to detect I suppose. Im 15dpo so if I am PG, my HCG levels may not be strong enough to register. I guess the best thing to do is wait it out. If AF doesn't show by the 28th, i'll make an appointment with the doctor..no matter what the HPT says.

First day after missed cycle

I was due for my period yesterday, and AF never showed her face. So far today, she still isn't here yet. Im hoping for the best but expecting the worst....a BFN.Im trying to stay positive, since im late, but all the tests i've taken are coming up with a negative result.

Usually im asleep by 10:30pm, but last night was a rough one. Everyone in the house was asleep, except me. I kept stairing at the ceiling, thinking how each day seems like an eternity. Silly me right? Staying awake makes the day seems even longer!

I told myself I wasn't gonna take a HPT yesterday but of course I did. Still, another negative. I just sat there with a blank look on my face, watching the test in action...PRAYING that "today would be the day". I think I watched it for 7 minutes without moving.

The weird thing is, I feel like something is different with my body. Im not able to eat anything even though im hungry. I've tried so many different foods but everytime I take a bite, I lose my appetite. I've also been experiencing tenderness around my nipples, as well as bloating, and tummy cramps. I don't know if that means anything or if I wanna be PG so badly, that my mind is playing tricks on me. I haven't had any nausea, but I didn't have morning sickness with either of my previous 2. I do however, feel queezy at times. It doesn't feel like im gonna vomit. More like an unsettling, feeling. Could be nerves I guess. *shrugs*

Today im sticking to my guns. Im NOT gonna test. Im gonna wait it out (impatiently of course)and test on the 24th.....unless AF arrives.

AFSA! Please?

Im on a roll. Two posts in one day lol.

Today is day 28 on my cycle and so far, AF is nowhere in sight. Im excited because this could mean I am PG. It's not definate of course but just a possibility. The test I took yesterday was negative, and I didn't take one today, so naturally i'm a nervous wreck.

Im gonna do my best to wait a few days before testing again. If AF stays away, I will POAS again on the 24th. COME ON BFP!

Long journey ahead

Today is day one of my up to date TTC blog. I started this blog as a way to keep my friends and family up to date on my journey.

Im desperately trying to conceive, but so far no luck. Im 14 dpo as of today and to afraid to test. Yesterday I got a BFN and that was so heartbreaking. I know I shouldn't stress to much, as I already have 2 amazing kids, but I can't help it.

I never had to try to hard with my previous two. God worked his magic and blessed me with a handsome boy, and a beautiful girl. Im very fortunate. The third time around isn't so simple though. Now I know what so many women go through, in order to get PG. The charting, the BBT, POAS (non stop), etc. It's an emotional rollercoaster!

Here's to a BFP in the near future!