We know the gender...

Yesterday, DF and I went in for a 3d ultrasound. It was an amazing experience. I loved being able to see our little one like that. It's great how far technology has come.

As much as I hoped and prayed (end even tried willing it to happen) it's not a girl. We're having a boy. I was completely devestated when they told me. I cried for hours and hours. I spent the whole day in tears and depressed. I still feel really sad.

It's not so much what's between his legs that bothers me. It's the fact that I get NO PART WHATSOEVER in naming him. DF and his family have already decided what this child's name will be and that is VERY unfair to me. I am the one carrying him. I am the one who had surgery to make sure he survived. I am the one who will be birthing and raising him. So why don't I get a say so? I'm willing to compromise. Let me atleast take part in his middle name!!! NOPE! He's not having it. He has to be named after DF 100%...but what about what I want? Does no one care? Sure seems that way.

DF called his parents yesterday to tell them we're having a boy. While on the phone with them he said "she really wanted a girl but she's happy". WHy the hell did he lie to them? Is he afraid of them getting upset because I feel like an incubator instead of a mother? Im tired of always being put last.

We're meeting with them today (as well as the rest of his family) for a family gathering. Im not gonna even try to put on a fake smile. Im not happy and will not pretend to be. This is why I wanted a girl soooooooo much. I knew I wouldn't have to worry about something like this happening. Now im screwed. I'm doing all the work and I still get no say no in what this child is named. Hardly seems fair.

Anyway, here's the pics we got at the ultrasound. Enjoy..